We all look for, and want to belong to, a relationship that provides us with stability, acceptance, and comfort. Sometimes, however, when partner’s experience difficulty with meeting each other’s emotional needs (which can happen for a variety of reasons and is usually a gradual process), they become stuck in hurtful patterns of interaction which creates despair and distance in the relationship. When our partner doesn’t ‘get’ us, or seem to have an interest in knowing our pain, we don’t often recognize that she or he is hurting, too, but we certainly notice her or his behavior (your partner might become withdrawn or detached, or demanding and critical while bursting with anger), which is undoubtedly accompanied by a loss of trust, sense of betrayal, and feeling of hopelessness.
But what are you really fighting over? It’s not truly about the division of housework, invasiveness of in-laws, mismanagement of money, or dissimilar parenting practices. It’s fear that your partner has given up or just doesn’t care about you anymore, which might mean that you’ll lose one another, but neither knows how to share how terrifying and heartbreaking that will be, and how desperately you both want this to work.
This relationship is probably one of the most important in your life. Maybe even in your lifetime.
Why? Because we are dependent on, and attached to, our partners in nearly the same way that a child is to a parent. When we don’t feel protected or soothed by our partner, our happiness is compromised, and this may result in or contribute to depression or anxiety.
According to many scientific studies, the way to save and strengthen a relationship is by re-establishing an emotional connection.
Elon is trained in Emotionally-Focused Therapy, which is a model awarded the “Gold Standard” for Couples Therapy, and is based on adult love and the bonding processes of couples. Throughout treatment, couples realize that ‘the problem’ is not one another, but the insecurities produced by, and distance in, the relationship. Couples begin to discuss their fears in a way that causes each partner to lean into the pain, and learn to turn to one another to share needs. Each partner discovers how to stay attuned, respond more productively to emotional situations, and to be present with suffering. Undergoing this process is proven to facilitate the creation of a lasting, secure bond, and those couples who complete treatment report that they feel an increased sense of security, closeness, and connection, which continues to improve after therapy concludes. Even more hopefully, in addition to helping a distressed relationship, Emotionally-Focused Therapy may also reduce the symptoms associated with depression and trauma.
This voyage is one of the hardest. And it is so worth it.
Let us help you chart your course. Call today.
